Houston 5:00 PM rush-hour survival tips

Posted: March 30, 2007 in Uncategorized

Make sure you have plenty of water, some form of food and a flavored beverage. If you’re a smoker, make damned sure you think about that before entering the on-ramp of no return. Between each “coast, brake, put in park and idle” sequence, remember to raise your butt and try to peel the underwear from your ass that has become one with the skin. Since there will be very little feeling in that area you should rely on your fingertips to distinguish between the two. Try to stretch, rub or punch some feeling back into your legs (use a ball point pen or similar object to monitor the degree of numbness). It is also advisable to wrench your right ankle to the left, right, up and down frequently to ensure that if you ever do get out of your vehicle, you will be able to walk on it.

Other tips: Although swearing is a means of temporary relief, just like moaning, pulling hair or squeezing your head as hard as you can, it only results in further frustration and a headache of some sort. If you let people change lanes in front of you, the same favor just might be returned to you. A personal oxygen tank is helpful as is a book, a magazine, a portable TV or a six-pack.

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Comments
  1. laanba says:

    Are you a smoker? Did I ask that already? Who am I? Ok.. actually… are you a smoker?

  2. Greg says:

    I knew you would ask that. Yes, I am but I am finally in a frame of mind to start doing something about it.

  3. laanba says:

    *GASP* Greg!

    You and I are going to have a talk young man.

  4. Chica says:

    Hey, Greg. You should really quit.

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