I like banks as much as I love insurance companies

Posted: September 8, 2007 in home

On Friday, I got a little more comfortable with the idea of stashing my money in an air duct or behind the wall somehow. I had a serious scare yesterday.

Last week was particularly hard on our budget and I found myself struggling to maintain our normal comfort level. I did it though. I always do. I’m very creative when it comes to these situations. However, it’s always a countdown to payday. As you know, the first payday of the month solves everything.

This is embarrassing but I was down to nickels and dimes yesterday morning when I stuck my card into the magic money machine at the bank. I was so glad I made it to payday without much suffering and couldn’t wait to get the usual chunk of money out of the machine as I do every Friday. I was relieved. I was happy again.

Well, guess what? It showed that I had a balance of -$360.84. Negative Three hundred sixty dollars and eighty four fucking cents! Not only was I broke for the rest of the month, I was in the hole for that amount. If that’s not bad enough, that morning I skipped breakfast and substituted it with a 20 oz. cup of some really strong coffee. That’s not only a bad idea, that’s some really bad timing. I wasn’t feeling well at this point.

I was freaking out. I was thinking about sending my daughter to my parent’s house for the weekend so she could get a hot meal and hang out with her cousins until I figured out how to get us out of this mess. I thought about cashing in all the brass and copper I’ve saved over the last several years. Anything.

I had to blow off an entire day of work to deal with my bank, my apartment complex and the shyster-assed bank they use to find out just how the hell I could be in the hole over three hundred fucking dollars when I always keep track of my balances. I was very angry but I was also very polite. That always helps.

Eventually, I found out that one of the banks had run one of my checks twice. My rent check. In fact, it was found that someone had made a copy of my check and passed it through their secret labyrinth. Apparentely that’s completely legal if someone in a bank loses your check. I took me forever to track this down thanks to all the helpful people in the banking and apartment management business. I hope they like hot places. (I got that from you LK).

  1. laanba says:

    Eeek! I’m so glad you found out what it was, but that just SOUNDS like it was a pain to track down.

    Unfortunately I totally know that pay day feeling. Mine isn’t until next Thursday. When on when will next Thursday get here. The beginning of the school year is SO expensive.

  2. I think you broke my record of profanity. Yay!

    Banks, ah. Bless ’em. They staff them with the lowest grade of people and then we are supposed to be comfy with them handling our hard-earned cashola?! I hate that.

  3. Brilliant, Gregory! If nothing else, I’m glad I can at least share my smart ass–I’ve lived in Houston TOO FUCKING long, used to work with Stevens and Pruett and was underpaid and overworked was forced to look at way too many Lesbians’ tits—cynicism.

    But I’m not bitter.

    Why do I get the feeling that the bank in question here is Wells Fargo?????

    Smile…your ass is!!


  4. Greg says:

    I know you were on the S&P show. It was because of you and Brian (?) that I listened every morning. It wasn’t for all that bi girl nonsense. Nor was it for S or P. It should have been the Laurie and Boner show and that is exactly what it was for me.

    The bank in question turned out to be some dip-shit bank called Woodforest, Woodcrest, or some other equally unknown name. I can’t remember. I learned that it is located in a nearby Walmart. Inside the f’ing Walmart! I think I should move when my lease is up.

  5. Yeah, we’ve discussed my illustrious radio past here in Houston.

    Sorry you’ve gone through fiduciary hell. What you described sounded so Wells Fargo-ish.

    Hope it’s rectified..you’re happy and your bank account is solvent. Well, more solvent anyway.

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