Red Flags

Posted: December 14, 2007 in Uncategorized

OTTAWA (Reuters) – Canada’s post office and police are trying to track down a “rogue elf” who wrote obscene letters to children on behalf of Santa Claus, a newspaper reported on Friday.

The Ottawa Citizen said at least 10 nasty letters had been delivered to little girls and boys in Ottawa who wrote to Santa this year care of the North Pole, which has a special H0H 0H0 Canadian postal code. Return letters from Santa are in fact written by an 11,000-strong army of Canada Post employees and volunteers.

“We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there,” a Canada Post spokeswoman told the paper.

Canada Post’s popular “Write to Santa” program — which last year delivered more than a million letters to children in Canada and around the world — has been shut down in Ottawa until the offender is caught.

Does Canada use TIPS? I ask because I have a tip for the police in Ottowa. I strongly believe they need to find out if Hermie, the “misfit” elf of “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer” fame is working for this company. As you know, in the movie it was clear that his heart really wasn’t in his work there at the workshop. I suspect that what we didn’t see after the movie was that his lack of enthusiasm (and that act of defiance before) eventully got him drummed out of the ranks there at the North Pole. It could also be speculated that an incident in his Dental practice forced him out of his profession as well (anesthesia?) and he had no other choice or skills and had to go with the only other thing in which he had any experience. Hank, the tall elf with the cat-eye frames should also be questioned.

Unrelated trivia: “Rudolph” first aired the very day I was born. I missed it that year.

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