Death of the brown paper bag

Posted: March 29, 2008 in Uncategorized

This is a total spin-off of the previous post. I want to know what the hell happened to the brown paper bag. The big, beautiful, brown, sturdy paper sack. I can remember when that was all that groceries came home in.

To this day I still remember the sound and smell of those bags. I miss them. We don’t get them anymore and I’ll tell you why: The wacko “environmental” movement has everyone convinced that the use of natural resources is Earth rape. Get this logic: So that we don’t murder trees we shall now make everything out of plastic. This is so, so contrary to what these fools claim to stand for. These fucking plastic bags are what is choking the environment. This plastic shit is what is fucking up my beaches and all the wildlife in the water and on the shore. Nice job you idealistic, stupid jack-offs.

Boy, did I ever get off topic. Here is what I originally intended to talk about.

The many uses for a paper sack
They hold stuff. Remember when they held groceries?
When we were kids we made costumes and masks out of them.
They were perfect for art projects of all kinds.
The small ones made lunch taste so much better than the plaid lunchboxes did.
Cats love them. (except yours Laurie B)
So do dogs and ferrets and parrots
They make great waste baskets. When it’s full, just throw the whole thing out.
They are good for ripening avacados, apricots or any other fruit that needs a little help.
In a pinch they are perfect for absorbing the grease from fried fish, fried potatoes, fried okra . . . anything fried I guess. Oh, and taco shells too. I don’t do pre-fabbed, store-bought taco shells.

There must be hundreds of uses for these bags. Tell me how you have used them.

  1. Michele says:

    I completely agree. I miss the brown paper bag. We are only stuck with those stupid little flimsy plastic ones that, if an ounce over weight, will puke your items all over the pavement as you walk.

    I remember making book covers for school out of those paper bags. No money spent on fancy fabric with elastic on the edges, that never fits the oversized books.

    I truly love the brown paper bag!

  2. 2lazydogs says:

    I know what happened to the brown paper bag…haha. I knew they would soon be extinct so I’ve been hoarding them and have a stash in my pantry. Come on over, help yourself!

  3. Greg says:

    Thanks for the comments Michele and 2lazydogs. You both cracked me up first thing this morning. I appreciate that.

  4. Laura says:

    I think you made an astronaut’s “helmet” out of one when you were a little kid.

  5. Greg says:

    It seems we were both always doing something like that. Can you imagine that today? “Your bored, huh? Here’s an idea dear, take this plastic bag, draw a face on it and put it over your head.”

  6. romi41 says:

    Holy crap you can use brown paper bags to ripen fruit!???!

    Cool I just learned something 🙂

    PS: oh my gosh, I LOVED the smell of brown paper bags in my childhood…it was almost as good as the smell of rubber-cement-glue or permanent markers…errr….I mean…uhh…have a good night 😉

  7. kristiane says:

    Yes. I do prefer brown bags. And my mother uses them to wrap the boxes that she mails to me.

  8. catrina says:

    I’ve used brown paper bags to wrap presents and to cook a turkey in the oven. I still buy the small paper lunch bags and use them for lunches! AND if I’m in one of those moods, I’ll ask the bagger at the grocery store to use paper AND plastic. That really pisses them off.

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