I found something very unwelcome in my mail box when I got home yesterday afternoon. It was from
Houston Police Department
Camera Enforcement Division
Without even opening the envelope I knew it was a ticket for running a red light which was caught on camera. When I got inside, I sat down and ripped it open. Only then did I see that it was issued to someone else but sent to my address.
I was now in a minor ethical dilemma. Even if I did find them using directory assistance, the only way I saw possible, I’d be giving them their mail, opened and thoroughly read by me. However, if this information never got to them a warrant would be issued for their arrest and I would be partially responsible for that. I never saw the names above my address. I assumed it was for me because about two months ago some idiot a few cars ahead of me decided to stop and I was caught in the middle of an intersection where the light turned red. As I was looking behind me I saw the unmistakable flash of one of those damned red light cameras.
Not knowing who these people were I called information and actually got a hit on one of the names. When I called the number a female answered. I said:
“We don’t know each other but I think I have some of your mail.”
After much confusion and the phone being handed back and forth between two females and me explaining the situation several times and much disscussion between the two of them, one of them finally got back on the phone and said:
“Oh, chit . . . can we mit you over there?”
Sure enough at least one of them used to live in my unit a long time ago so she knew the place. She asked if I would meet them at the fitness center in five minutes. They were punctual. I didn’t know who I was looking for but when I saw two girls pull in with their heads turning frantically from side to side I knew it was them. I then stepped out of the shadows in my trench coat with my hat pulled down over my eyes. I reached into my inside breast pocket and . . .
Okay, kidding. It was daylight and I simply held the envelope up and they both nodded wildly. I handed it to them, they thanked me and that was that. These were two girls that in no way at all belong in jail even for a few hours. I slept last night.